If someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions and constantly pushes blame off onto others for their own actions, they’re a covert narcissist. If someone is constantly doing “nice” things for you that don’t actually help you and that you didn’t ask for (in other words, it seems like it’s just performative) especially if you asked for some help in another way that they refuse to help you with, they’re a covert narcissist. If someone is saying shit similar to or implying shit like, “Your boundaries cross my boundaries! How dare your boundaries affect me negatively!”, they’re a covert narcissist. If someone has a lot of trouble remembering and respecting your boundaries no matter how many times you tell it to them, they’re a covert narcissist. If someone is constantly saying one thing but doing the exact opposite, they’re a covert narcissist (example: they say, “I love you, you’re my everything! I’ll do anything for you!” but then do a lot of things that are unloving like constantly disrespecting your clearly expressed boundaries). If someone shames you for having your emotions or feelings, they’re a covert narcissist (example: you say you’re hurt by what they said/did and then they tell you you’re being overdramatic and that what happened wasn’t that bad because their intentions were good). If someone guilts you for bringing up something that they did that hurt you, they’re a covert narcissist (example: you say you’re hurt by what they said/did and they respond by crying and saying things to the effect of, “I should just die then! I’m such a horrible person! You should leave and run! You deserve better!” instead of just fucking apologizing). If someone cannot handle constructive criticism (no matter how nice or gentle you are with them about it), they’re a covert narcissist.
If someone is constantly vying for attention and uses manipulation to get their way, they’re a covert narcissist. If someone doesn’t seem to care how their actions and words effect others (no matter how many times they say they do care, their actions never match their words), their a covert narcissist. If you feel like someone is constantly making you feel like a burden for your basic needs they are 100% NOT a codependent. Codependents will literally bend over backwards without questioning, without complaining, and without playing the myrter. Covert narcs will always want praise and a reaction out of you (good or bad).Ĭodependents don’t want praise, they want to feel safe with the narcissist.
Codependents just want you to be happy, even if it’s at the cost of their own happiness because they’ve been made to believe that their happiness is worthless unless they’re making someone else feel happy. Narcissists only have one person in mind and that’s themselves.
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